Today I learned…..

• That you really can cry your eyes swollen shut.
• That some people notice far more than you think they do.
• That a quarter of a Xanax can help you survive almost anything.
• That pretzels with peanut butter inside are awesome!

Today I learned…..

• To make sure you know where the fireworks are being launched from before parking to watch them, or you may just park behind the only tree within a mile radius.
• That a wad of tissue and a towel come in handy when your 5yo needs to pee.  While you are parked on the shoulder of SR50 to watch fireworks.  Along with about two hundred other people.
• That looking in your rearview mirror while your teen is in the backseat with the girl they are crushing on appears that you are sneaking peeks and spying on them.  Even when you are just making sure that jerk behind you doesn’t literally kiss your ass.

Today I learned…..

• That sometimes you just really don’t know what the people around you are going through, so you need to ask, and show you care, because it could be the one thing that makes the difference.
• That even the ones who seem to have so much sometimes are unable to see through their own depression to the blessings they have.
• That the guilt of having someone you love commit or even attempt suicide is a wound that never truly heals.

Today I learned that….

• The recognition you get has no real relationship to the effort you put in; but the satisfaction you feel does.

Today I learned….

• That the decisions your children make under your watchful eye don’t say half as much as the decisions they make when you do not bear witness.
• That the only true way to peace is to have faith.  What you believe in is personal to you, but without faith is someone or something, there is no hope, and without hope, there is no peace.
• That some kittens, such as mine, think that 12-pk boxes make a great plaything.

Today I learned that my father had a penile implant.

That is all.

Today I learned….

• That being ignored makes me feel unvalued.
• That no one in my family listens when I explain that.

Today I learned….

• That sometimes people fall down, hard, and never get back up.
• That some friendships can skip a year or five, and start back up like nothing changed, even when everything did.

Today I learned….

• That, while it is uncommon, some people really do change.

What I learned today is a little bit different than usual, because I already know it, but it’s easy to forget.

I got involved in some internet drama a couple days ago, because I believe in tolerance, and personal responsibility.  While I don’t regret speaking up at all, I found that my words fell on deaf ears to the person who I felt needed to hear them the most.  When I was ready to put it all behind me, that person continuted to goad me.  And I let it happen.

What I remembered today is:

• As real and right as your positions are to you, on even commonly held truths, other people do not all look at things the same way.  It’s a hard pill to swallow, really.  This explains the phenomenon of the cheating spouse who is so suspicious of the other for cheating.  In their mind, *they* would cheat, so the other spouse must be able to do so, as well.  It also explains how we are so stunned when someone does something we would *never* do.  It’s hard to accept that some people don’t think our values, especially when we genuinely feel they uphold others to the extent that they ought to be upheld, are important, or even valid.  It’s hard to accept that some people really, sincerely, see nothing wrong with hurting someone else, but go batshit when someone hurts them in the same exact way.  So sometimes we try to talk the truth into them, or our version of what the truth is.  Maybe it’s right, and maybe it’s not, but the real truth is that no one learns anything until they are good and ready to learn, and talking to a hostile, defensive person about another way of doing things or seeing things is just not going to work.  Some people are just unable to see things except in the context of how it relates to their own feelings or beliefs.  And sometimes that is hard to accept. Especially when the point you are tyring to make is to be tolerant and responsible and realize you aren’t the only one who was hurt.
• There is a difference between participating, and investing yourself in something.  I participated, and I’m glad I did.  But I got invested somehow that I could open someone’s eyes to a broader truth than they were willing to consider, and I completely set myself up for disappointment.  It was easy to get angry when it became apparent I was beating my curly head against a wall.
• There is a fine line between being snarky, and being rude.  I am grateful for the reminder to err on the side of caution.  I want to be myself and write the way I speak.  I want someone to read my words and understand my speech patterns through the words I choose.  I want the laughs I get in real life to translate into laughter from my readers.  But I do not want to be hurtful or rude in the name of being true to my voice.  My voice is sarcastic; it is not cruel.

I was ready to put the mess in question behind me yesterday, and that is what I tried to do.  I let myself get pulled back in the mire,m but it won’t happen again.  I am going to take my lessons remembered and chalk it up to experience that made me a little bit wiser.

Angel Smith posts regularly at CheekySweetie.com about her messes and more frequently, the ones her family makes for her to clean up. *sigh*